[lucyjoy]

He's looking for you to back down, don't. These kids have had so much turmoil in their lives and they need to know their care takers mean what they say. I would NOT give chances.

If school seems to be an issue, it might be good when he isn't angry to spend some time talking to him about his morning troubles. I find this works well in a rocking chair. I don't mean lecture-just discuss your observations and explore any fears about school.

My son had trouble going to school and finally blurted out that he was afraid that he would come home and I would no longer exist, the house would be gone and he'd be alone. Crazy? Not for kids who had lags in development and missed crucial stages-object permanence in my sons case.

As for the taking forever, I had two kids with incredible staying power. Planning ahead for issues that are repetitive helps prevent control battles.

Congratulations on your new placement.