[veggiegirl]

We've had 3 calls for possible babies since we've been home with DD. DD is not even 3 months old yet! (Why weren't we getting these calls when we were waiting for DD - oh yeah, because DD is our meant-to-be baby!!!)

The first call came literally the day we got home with DD so we were not interested. The second ended up not panning out (emom chose to terminate the pregnancy), and just today I got a lead on an older baby. The last two babies were (in order) 1/4 AA, and full CC. DD is full AA. Is it wrong that I want our next child to be full AA or biracial? DH is set on us only having 2 kids and the thought of DD being the only dark-skinned person in our family kills me. It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach and anxious. I love her more than words can describe and I already know she will face challenges soley because of her race. I feel that the last thing she needs is to not "fit in" with her own family. I really think she needs a non-CC sibling so she can identify more with him/her. He/she will be more likely to have the same experiences as her - things that we have never ourselves experienced. I was somewhat interested in the situation I heard about today (CC baby), but when I found out the baby is CC, I immediately thought, "no way". If we could adopt more than 2, I would be interested, but because DH says 2 is the limit, I just can't bring myself to even consider this child. I feel horrible!!!