Yep, we drank lots and lots of red wine.
Luckily, we matched late in pregnancy so I didn't turn into a big drunk! I totally understand second time adoptive parents saying they will go only for baby born situations.
As for mom not answering, she probably just needs some time. She might not have the words right now, but I bet she takes comfort in knowing that you care about her.
Hang in there. We all survived and you will too!