[mommy3]

I totally agree that all children just start out "me directed" -- it's really all about them. Everything that I've read and tried just focuses on the fact that toddlers are being socialized -- yuck, so that's just what we go through. I'm big on advanced warnings, even before we get somewhere, about what's going to be the deal. When I arrive to pick my children up from care, I remind them that I'll give them 5 or 10 min. to say goodbye to everything or finish. I let them know what's happening next. We try to look forward to the next thing, which generally helps a transition, although never helps when I'm leaving if my dd wants me to stay, booo hooo, so sad; it's really a tear jerker sometimes. Most of all, structure helps along with the warnings. In due time (wish I knew how long that was for each child. . .), they begin to realize that you always do go back to the park, get your clothes changed, come through on the deals that you set. Sometimes I have to say, "if there's no crying, then we get to X" -- whatever the next fun thing is. Sometimes that doesn't work at all. However, I can say, that with my youngest dd now at 2-3/4, we're in the 80% much less drama world now, whew. susan