[nannyisme2004]

I understand your frustration. DD - FM did not call her by new name as requested. I started calling my DD by her new first name upon pickup. I tried calling her by her Guat. name followed by her new first name so she could get used to it. I did that only once and it didn't sound right to me because to me she had always been her new name. During the pick up trip which was like 5 days she was already responding to her new name. She was extremely attached to her FM. And her two words while in Guat were Mama and Papa. It took her 8.5 months to attach to me and actually call me mama for the first time. However, we have a very strong bond now and have for the past several years. It will happen.

Now with my DS who has been home about 10 months - he called his FM mama. His only word while in Guat. I was blessed that they did start calling him by his new name once I told them what it was. FM had lost her own baby boy before fostering my DS. DS filled a hug void in her life as well as her husband and daughter's life. I will never forget the pickup trip. I gave FM all the time she needed and waited for her to hand over DS to me. My DS was so loved. Loved just as much as I love him now. She was fighting back the tears and talking to DS in spanish and telling him that I was his new/forever Mama, etc. That he would be safe with me, etc. She would never forget him, etc. There was such a special connection between the two of them. And she has been so very happy that I wanted to and continue to have contact with them as she mentioned most adoptive families do not want contact once adoption complete (has been her experience). My DD and my mom came with me on pick up trip. Once FM handed me DS he clung to me, never wanted me to leave his side even to go to the bathroom. Did not want anyone else. He has had a much easier time bonding and attaching to me than DD did.

It will be okay. And you get to spend forever with him. I personally don't know how foster parents do it. I can't imagine. Please cut her some slack. All will be well.