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I think it's good that you are asking these questions - it means you are going into this with your eyes wide open. While I hope that your experience is as wonderful as the above posters, there is a chance that it won't be. I have struggled mightily with attachment on my side. I believe I had PAD (post adoption depression) and it happens more often than is discussed. It seems very taboo. I am open about it - because I didn't choose to feel differently about my 2 youngest children...it just was. It takes some work and a lot of "fake it until you make it". They've been home almost 3 years and most days I don't even think of the word adopted. Most days I just move along and parent them and love them. There are days when that still doesn't happen for me easily. They attached fairly well...
Do a lot of reading on attachment and make sure you also read about attachment from the parent perspective. And, if things don't go like a Hallmark card...know that you aren't alone and REACH out for help. I felt SO isolated for so long...embarrassed to admit what was happening. Just talking about it and getting so much support was one of the best things I ever did!
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