[Momto1human-2furry]

Hi this is my first post here. I have been lurking on this site off and on for a while. I have always found the members here very warm and supportive. I would like to be a part of this forum and lend support and receive support. Today i am here as i need support and i may just rant.


I am an adoptive parent of a almost 2 year old baby girl(will turn 2 on 9/11). We did a interracial adoption domestically when we lived in the U.S. We are Indians and my baby is Hispanic by origin. Since the adoption we have moved back to India.My baby is the apple of our eye and we love her like anything. (My other 2 babies are my furry babies.....explaining the user name). I wish to be a wonderfull mom to my baby and i am trying. I share her adoption info with her, will always tell her how wonderfull her BMom is and are sending her letter and photos too to the agency and will let her explore her culture when she grows older).




Recently i was on yahoo answers and i was very upset after i came across a very angry group of anti- adoption activists.They accuse AP's of being baby stealers, people who take advantage of BMom's that are down on their luck, selfish Adopters who take adoption as a second choice to fullfill their need. Showing disgust towards AP's attempt to BF. I tried to reason with them that all adopive parents are not the same. But i was sent violations through the "report abuse" system if i asked a question like " Why are Adoptive parents thumbed down for listing the ages, name and circumstances. Isn't it rude?". Violation was " Not a question nor an answer". And after several such petty violations after being reported abuse i quit that site altogether. I realised it was spoiling my mental peace and it has left me shaken up.


You may ask who are these anti- adoption people- Mostly BMom's, Adoptees and some family touched by adoption and a few crazies/trolls.


Apart from that site having depressed me i did learn a few things. I learnt from the Adoptee's that we MUST NOT be in denial about their birth families and always allow all contact if the child wishes to. Let an Interracial adoptee child explore his culture, Keep his/ her name given by the BMom (I changed mine). Not try and "own" our babies, NOT USE term like "birth mother" instead use "first mother" (which i still disagree with). Some more i think i'll need to see the comments again to remember it.
Also i realised how unfair the system is to BMom's who's children have been taken away by social services because they were considered unfit mom's. And apparently "social services' coaxes these BMom's to relinquish rights forcefully!! (Not sure how?)
In our circumstance my baby's BMom had 4 other babies and could not financially support the fifth and thus went to an agency. I never mentioned this on that site as i feared i would be called awfull for having taken advantage of a poor mom.


I saw how desperately Adoptee's are battling adoption and searching for their B.P's. Some seriously suffer identity crisis. How some Adoptee's are so angry with their AP's. I expect i may have to face these same things when my baby is growing up , but it makes me so scared just now after reading these accusations on that board.
I am here to rant , this may be very long and i hope i didn't hurt any one.