[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

Oh, well, enough of my complaining. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe I'll call back the nice facility and see if I can have her bed for myself...at least I'd get some rest, could interact with the preschool kids, and take my cat with me. Sounds like a really nice place. (And Kim, I'll see if I can get you the bed right next to me, lol!)

I started laughing out loud when I read that last paragraph because for the first few paragraphs I was shaking my head and thinking, "I seriously wonder if Raven shouldn't just move herself into that place".....and then I thought, "Heck, if it was close, I would steal that open bed right out from under her". Ok, kidding on that last part. I could never do that to my good friend Raven.....but it sounds like the perfect place for someone who HAS their right mind but can't care for themselves.

For the last 2 years my grandmother has been in the nursing home (she suffered a stroke last year too). She INSISTED on being moved into one even with all of us begging her not to do it. We tried to remind her of what my great-grandmother's last days with cancer had been like in one, but she was so determined that her life was over and she couldn't last another day in her senior-living apartment. For seven years prior, she had a home-health aide come in every day offering to make her meals in advance and freeze them, buying her groceries, doing her laundry, helping to bathe her, and cleaning her house. There were some really nice ones, too, but she was hateful to ALL of them and reminded them constantly how they never did the job up to snuff. They never folded her laundry right and never cleaned good enough and bought the wrong ketchup sometimes!!!!! Some would call me crying after one of her "fits".

So we gave up and let her go into the nursing home. Well, guess what? It is not nearly as clean or clean-smelling as her apartment (they try, but with that many infirm people it is nearly impossible), they lose her laundry or accidentally get it mixed up with others and then she won't wear it anymore, she doesn't like most of the food (and they even offer to make her something she would like), she never has any peace and quiet in a room with a woman out of her mind, etc.

And she isn't "dying" the way she was so determined she was years ago when it all started. She will probably out live us all. She has been determined to make the worst out of every situation and you can't really help people like that......and end up feeling good about it anyway.

I say leave her where she is if she is determined not to move again. Because if you work SO hard to get her moved to what you feel is a nice facility and she complains about it daily, you will seriously want to do her in yourself.

Good Luck Raven. You are doing so much more than you ever thought you would have the strength to do. Make a pit stop on the "Taking Care of Mom" train and take care of yourself for a few days and recharge. If she changes her mind later, she will just have to wait for another opening in the facility you found that I now call "Beullah Land" HeeHee.

Kim