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I think it is a personal decision whether or not to tell aparents of a search. Every person here is unique and has their own family dynamics to consider. It is really helpful to have an on-line community here where we can all come and ask questions, read about others' stories, gain different perspectives, etc.
It makes me sad that you said that someone in the adoption community "scolded" you for your decision. I think that is crossing the line. All we can offer eachother is advice and opinions. I don't think anyone has the right to be so judgemental as to scold someone else.
You did what you felt in your heart was best for yourself and your family and really that's what each of us needs to do. There is no perfect "one size fits all" answer to your question. I'd say everyone needs to follow their heart and do what's best for themselves and those that they love.
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