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Old 08-23-2008, 04:50 PM
Lynn Barry Lynn Barry is offline
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Holy cowabunga, this is great!

Nature vs nurture...I would have to say in my experience adopting a former foster child who was five when she came to us...nature is more influencial than nurture...the only thing that crosses the line is in my opinion is THE LOVE...I do believe the girl I raised from five years old does love me...but she seems more comfortable living amongst her birth relatives...or at least those who live like her birth relatives...the guy her b-dad raised...in and out of trouble...on assistance...my daughter seems to be attracted to living like that too...she often said we were "dull" and then she'd laugh...and the substance abuse whether in the genes or not is a huge factor as well...b-mom is a crack addict prostitute and dad is an alcoholic and they all smoke...I hope my daughter is not abusing drugs, since she told us she is carrying her 4th child, but she never gave up smoking even when pregnant...I could go on with examples but it seems silly...it is complicated no matter how you look at it...but impossible...no...people are always going to need others to raise the babies they give birth to for a variety of reasons and for some couples this is the only way they can raise kids...in my case I had two sons...and later I gave birth to another son, so for me it was some kind of desire to add a child to the family since I had trouble getting pregnant and had to have c-sections...I always wanted to adopt even as a kid ...not sure why...I need to regroup...I am really enjoying this exchange with everyone...thanks!
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