[Carlee1boy]

I am the mother to one biological and two adopted children. My biological son came first, and I was "ooey gooey" and hormonal, and to be honest a bit freaky. I remember kneeling on the floor by the bed on his first night home from the hospital and weeping (weeping I say) in thanks to God for this beautiful creature. NOT ME, and NOT my personality. Definitely the hormones. (Not that he wasn't and isn't a beautiful boy, I'm just not typically emotional like that).

Fast forward four years later to our trip to Guatemala to pick up our son. I was nowhere as nervous and freaky. I attribute that to not being a first time mom and to the fact that he was seven months old and not a breakable newborn. However, I have to admit that the bonding took much longer than it did with my firstborn. We had a very difficult first three months home, in which he slept very little. He was grieving for his foster mother. While I felt so sad for him, my exhaustion made me ill-tempered as well. My older son and husband bonded much sooner than I did. That said, I will never, ever forget the first time he completely relaxed in my arms. He laid his head on my shoulder, sighed, and completely relaxed. I cried and cried, and felt that we truly became mother and son at that point.

Same thing with my daughter. While she did not have the aforementioned sleep issues, she was VERY reserved for quite some time. It took almost a year before she completely trusted us and before her true personality came out.

So for me, the bonding was very different for all three. But the love I have for them is not. I hope that makes sense and helps.

Carolyn