[KarynB]

From my experience, it is just difference in children. My oldest bio DD I was in some ways as you mentioned, but not really woried about things like sterilizing the bottles to perfection, or freaking out if she cried. I didn't need to have all the cutsie baby things, and was quite relaxed for a first time mom. I did, however, imagine all sorts of things happening to her, and dreamt about them all the time.

Our middle son was three when he joined our family and I really never worry about him ( I know that sounds HORRIBLE - but listen first (-: ). He spent the first three years of his life in an orphanage, and he is as tough as nails. Loves a cuddle and a kiss - but this kid is a survivor. So - do I have to worry about him getting sick from eating stuff off the floor? Nope. I know he'll outlive us all...no doubt about it. LOL.

Our (adopted) baby is a different story - it is all as you mentioned. My friends make fun of me because I am so careful with him - the exact opposite of what I was with my first two. I HATE to hear him cry, it literally tears me up. I won't leave him with anyone outside the family, and he is 2 now. I wanted to bring him to our sons school for the Roots of Empathy program but couldn't do it because of all the germs going around the school and the kids touching him all the time - and if you know me at all this is SO NOT LIKE ME!!!!! I've travelled in India solo and eaten street-meat for goodness sakes!

So - my theory is that we have a built in intuition as to what each of our kids need. Maybe my bio DD needed me to push her to be a bit more independant, our last guy needs to extra attention.

Also - give yourself time. It can take time to attach to a new baby/child - after all, they are strangers to us too -and one day you'll all of a sudden you'll realize you are there! Just keep doing all the attachment stuff and maybe (if possible) create some time for just you and your DD - I know its hard because your son is still little too - but it may help.

Good luck!