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It sounds like you might be okay with a semi-open adoption -- then it's generally exchange pictures and such, so that the bmom knows the kid is okay, but no face-to-face contact until at least age 18. In some cases, you can even have the agency/attorney act as an intermediary, so that the pictures/letters can be exchanged without either you or the bparents knowing eachother's addresses.
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7/21/08 -- attended special needs adoption informational meeting, submitted interest form
7/31/08 -- consultation with state agency
8/6/08 -- submitted application
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