[minibus]

Every state differs. I can only give answers based on my experience in Washington state. I worked in mental health for several years and then in therapeutic foster care fro several more ... so that's where my answers come from....

1. Are there "health" kids on our desired age for adoption through the system (by health I mean no more than mild/moderate emotional needs, no big psychiatric issues, no FAS, no sexual abuse)?

Yes. BUT it's always possibly for issues to come up that haven't come up before if something triggers the child. Also keep in mind that many mental health issues come up later on in the child's development. Also keep in mind that "FAS" (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) is a conglomeration of symptoms and that FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders) are not 100% diagnosable. A child who has FAS has Features A,B,C, and D, which a child who only has Features A, B, and C but not D will not be diagnosed FAS. At the same time, within FASD, there are many ways that the child can function, from low functioning to quite high functioning.

If this scares you, then keep in mind that ANY child, including your biological child, OR a child adopted internationally can always "turn up with" mental health difficulties. I think that one of the benefits of an "older" child adoption (older than newborn) is that you can at least get an idea of how they've been developing so far. With foster adopt, you also generally get more information on the child than with international adoption (at least from what I've heard about international).

2. Is it possible to adopt domestically without doing an open adoption?

Yes. Specify this on your homestudy and with your social worker.

3. Would the state refuse to work with us because my husband wants a closed adoption?

No. Not in my experience.

4. Do all kids who have been on foster care have RAD and ODD?

No. But you need to get as much information as you can and not let the caseworker gloss over problems with "She's done this, but I'm sure with lots of love, she'll be fine."

5. Could we do foster to adopt and still ask to close the adoption if ever happen?

I'm not sure what you mean by this. I think if you want a closed adoption, then you need to specify this at the beginning before you find a child who will be placed with you. In many foster-adopt situations, birthparent rights are already terminated before the child is available for placement, but there might be other family members who the caseworker thinks it will be beneficial for the child to have a relationship with.

I have just been wondering....

We do not want a baby (as we can have them) and we do plan to add a biologic baby over the next 2 years, so it is really important that the adopted child issues would not risk the other kids of the house.... So any kid who need to be the youngest of all, or the only child is a no...

Specify this when you talk to the caseworker. They should have an idea of how the child interacts with older kids, kids of the same age, and younger children.

Best of luck!