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Sounds like you re doing great. Have you talked with the foster parents about whether they have any suggestions? They are probably your best source for what will work for him.
Plus - as you reassure them that he will be well loved and cared for in your home, and they become more confortable with you (even though they don't want to adopt I am sure that they have anxiety over letting him go) - their comfort will be passed on to him, even in subtle wasy that they are probably not conscious of.
Good luck.
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