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I'm also glad you're asking this question. Too many people don't, and then they don't understand why the child they love is having problems.
I'd recommend that you make sure your visits are not just "fun" time, but that they incorporate many of his daily routine items, and even some "un-fun" things too.
Learn how the current foster mother prepares his food, and how she serves it. Even if it's different from what you had planned to do.
Learn what his bedtime routine is, and participate in it. Don't take over at first, just watch. As you learn different parts, take over those parts, until you can put the child to bed at his foster home all by yourself.
Learn his rituals for comforting him when he's angry, or sad.
If you can learn these rituals he's accostomed to, and continue them even when he's moving (and moved) to your home, it will be helpful to him. He'll understand that while his parents and his home are different, but many other things are the same.
Even learn how the current foster mother disciplines him, and do it the same way. If you can keep the rules the same, it will help too. (Even if you need to change them later, keep them as long as you can.) Children are usually comforted by the idea that wrong is wrong and right is right no matter where they are or who is in charge.
Doing this sort of thing consistently keeps you in the position of "parent" instead of just "fun person" who he sees once in a while and eventually moves in with. It will make the eventual transition easier.
Good luck!
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