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I definately think that there is a real danger in this line of thinking. We are all only human. I will never be the perfect Mom and I believe that my bio kids have just as many "issues" as adopted kids. The nature vs. nurture thing is something we will probably never figure out. Clearly though children do have personality triats that are genetic. One parenting author I really love said in one of his books that aparents would come to him claiming their child had a behavior due to being adopted and he pesonally believed that these problem behaviors were rarely due to adoption. We could all come up with reasons for things we do that we don't like. The child from a broken family, the child that lost a loved one, ect. I can also see things that my son did inherit. For instance, even at 2 1/2 it is very clear that he is musically inclined. That is not something he has recieved from growing up here!!! For me personally I am going to try very hard to never "blame" issues on adoption. I read the book Primal Wound a while ago and I know that many people love it but I hated it. I sought out some adult adoptees I know and asked them their take on it and all 5 of them found that this was not their experience. I know this book has been very helpful to many so please don't be offended. I truly don't mean to do that as I am not an adoptee myself.
I know I really strayed here. I am sure your daughter recieved many wonderful qualities from you and I would not listen to her amom say that you are responsible for any issues. How would she or anyone really know where the responsibility lies?
Blessings,
Shelley
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