Rylie -
I stepped back a bit to really think through your post and one of the things that occurred to me is that perhaps there is some pressure for some aparents to raise the "perfect" child, some likely for their own pressure, but there is pressure of sorts from society too.
For example - We always hear about the negative side in the media in regards to adoption and one of the things your question makes me think about is the common separation the media makes in terms of horrific crimes. "So and so was sentenced today for killing his neighbor. XX was adopted in 1950..."
We've all heard about Charlie Manson and others who have committed awful acts and the point is always made that they were adopted. So for me, I can see how sometimes there is pressure for some aparents to make sure their child never turns out this way. kwim? Not because they really believe their child is capable of such things, but to show others in society that DO relate adoption to all the negative things we hear about.
Or to raise the child that never has any "issues" because there are those waiting in the wings ready to pounce saying "See! He got an F in school and was depressed for years BECAUSE he was adopted". and so on.
There's also the pressure for some to prove to bmoms that they made the right decision or for a variety of reasons I would think.
I do agree with others here that for me, it's pressure on MYSELF and not on my kids. I worry so much that I'm not giving my kids the life they deserve and am not helping them enough to heal from the pain of their history. To be there enough as they go through their ups and downs of feeling their losses. It's not a realistic scenario at all, and yet there are times when I get down on myself for it. (I think we ALL (triad members alike) do this to an extent for a number of reasons
)
So yes...I think there can certainly be an element of "perfection" placed upon an adoptee by their parents and yet of course, it wouldn't apply to everyone.