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If the bfather is willing to voluntarily terminate his rights, then it shouldn't be too difficult. It may take a while to get it all finalized, and there may be some sort of rule saying you have to be married a miniumum amount of time, but that probably varies widely by location. You could try contacting someone from your county's or state's dept. of human services (or whatever it is called where you're at). Where I live (WI), there is a website that lists all the adoption laws in easy-to-understand terms, including rules for step-parent adoption.
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7/21/08 -- attended special needs adoption informational meeting, submitted interest form
7/31/08 -- consultation with state agency
8/6/08 -- submitted application
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