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I don't think about my daughter's birthmom when I have high expectations for her. My daughter was in foster care for almost 5 year due to abuse and neglect. At first she wasn't expected to ever talk well, yet now she is a straight A student who is beautiful as well as athletic. She can do almost anything she sets her mind to. This is not due to ME or anyone else. She had this in her.
I want her to go to be happy. That is about it. Yes, I want her to go to college if she wants to because she is so smart and has come so far. I can tell you that had I given birth to her, I would want to the same thing. I expect good manners and good behavior just because that is what I expect. I don't want perfection and would be sorely disappointed if I did.
Nothing I teach her or expect from her is to 'get back' or 'show' her birthfamily. It is all about her.
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