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Originally Posted by SKL
I don't know, reading these posts, I am getting the feeling we aren't expecting much from our 5-year-olds. This is a great diversion from a long history.
I begin to understand why it's getting so popular to hold kids back based on a lack of "readiness." If your kid isn't ready to accept being singled out for his misdeeds; isn't ready to make a connection between action and a later punishment; isn't ready to sit still; I don't know. I bet most of these kids could do it if we really expected it of them. But yeah, if we have a hissy about the fact that school teachers are expecting it, if we insist that it's too much to ask of them, they will prove us right, won't they?
Part of the big deal of kids going to KG is that they are graduating to a new level of maturity, including controlling themselves at a new level. It's not supposed to be a continuation of how our kids perform in preschool or at home. My thought is that we should show our kids our pride in them by letting them know we expect them to do well with all these new requirements. And parents need to understand that there will be a transition and it won't always be comfortable and that's OK. Just my personal opinion.
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AMEN!
I am not discounting anyone's experience level... but it seems that many people who have commented so strongly against the fence walking have pre-school aged kids. (Maybe I am wrong... I was just looking at signatures and seeing that most listed children who were younger than Kindergarten). Before I personally had a Kindergartener, I had a pie-in-the-sky idea of how my sweet, innocent child would act. He would NEVER be a disruption because, for goodness sakes, I am an educator myself. Boy, did I get THAT wrong!
We CAN'T control what our kids do when they are in a school setting, no matter how much modeling or teaching or preparing we do at home. Kids will be kids. But I just hope that the teachers who are teaching our children can be firm (and loving) enough to help our children become life-long learners. I've seen it myself when a teacher loses control of the classroom - there's NO learning going on when that happens. I don't want my kid in a classroom where the teacher isn't in control.
As for the argument that keeps coming up that it is "humiliating" to walk the fence, I'm sorry, but give me a break. Just hang out with a bunch of Kindergarteners for a DAY and they will find PLENTY of reasons to pick on each other and try to humiliate each other. If a child is constantly missing recess for behavior issues, the consequence isn't appropriate. I know that for my very active, very social child, he would rather do ANYTHING than miss recess, so I would be in favor of it for him because it would make an impact.
I am a "product" of the discipline method of sitting by the fence at recess and I don't have self esteem issues. If I had to sit by the fence at recess and I came home and told my mom about it and she rushed up to school and complained and made a huge deal about it, then maybe I'd have issues. Our kids learn from our reactions to tough situations. My mom's reaction was typically, "Well, it sounds like you deserved it. Change your behavior so you don't have to sit by the fence tomorrow." End of discussion. I learned right away that my mom loved me and expected a lot of me, but she wasn't going to bail me out if I got myself into trouble. That has carried on into my adulthood and looking back, I really appreciate that she taught me how to deal with consequences.
Yes, of course we need to advocate for our children, but sometimes we have to sit back and let them face their own consequences. That will prepare them for being adults someday.
I might suggest that you go to that teacher and ask her to give you examples of what types of behavior warrant the fence walking. (I don't recall you giving specifics in your first post). Maybe she only assigns fence walking to extreme behaviors - not the "getting out of your chair"-type offenses.
I would also try to volunteer in that classroom as often as possible to see how she handles her class. Then, if you notice that she is over-reacting to normal 5/6-year-old behavior, then I'd take some action. Maybe she is playing the whole "Bad-Cop" thing at the beginning of school to try to earn some respect and she really isn't like that with the kids. Who knows.
Thanks for letting me share my opinion. I respect that some of you won't agree with me - and that's fine, I still love y'all anyway!
