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Tlee,
If you gave your mother the book Primal Wound and she read it or is reading it...she may be feeling terrible about what you may have felt/do feel/went through. To know there is a chance that you went through even a tenth of the commonalities across adoptees would be devastating to a birth mother. If that is the case then you must give her time to deal with that pain.
If your birth family has a different set of values and ethics regarding family, then you must decide if you can have a relationship with them and the degree of relationship. Genetics play a large part in who we are but our families that raised us also play a large part in shaping who we are and what level of tolerance we have.
Whatever the truth is, you must be open and honest while still being true to your character.
Kind regards,
Dickons
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