tlee...Sal had some great advice for you! She's good at that! Have you talked to your bparents about how you are feeling? Or are you afraid of what the answers may be? Sometimes people, out of their own insecurities and issues, don't feel that they have the "right" to be the ones to pursue a relationship. Sometimes some people just aren't good at that, with anyone. But you'd think that after 16 years...it would be easier. Perhaps you could talk to them about this and how it makes you feel. One piece of advice I give and live by is, "Nobody can give you what they don't know you need." Some people are just so wrapped up in themselves that they aren't able to see what is so obvious to others or ourselves. Maybe they need a big sign saying...CALL ME...it would REALLY mean something to me!!! I know even for me, someone saying, "Call me anytime" does not necessarily mean I really feel that I can. But...if someone tells me..I love it when you call me...ect. I feel better about that.
I am sorry that you are in this position. It is a hard place to be...and a place that I've been in. (but not for 16 long years like you!) I have wanted to throw the towel in as well. Sometimes I ask myself..what's the point!? Why should I be the one who is always reaching out?! (this is with extended bfamily...) My bmom doesn't have my personal information, so I don't expect from her!!!! I wouldnt' want it from her!
I hope that you can work through this and do what is the best for you!!!!!
