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Originally Posted by JustPeachy
You know, you were in your teens at the time, and very young to have to be dealing with the trauma of rape and a pregnancy resulting from that rape. In addition, there was obvioulsy a terrible social stigma involved. None of these things were your fault. It's hard enough as a grown woman to handle being manipulated and pressured in any circumstance, but being so young and likely still under your parent's care, what else could you have done?
What would you think of a friend who did the same? Would you feel compassion for her, or contempt? You are a total stranger to me, and yet I don't see you as unnatural, shameful, or a horrible person.
Why can you forgive your rapist, but not yourself, when you didn't have or know of any other options at that time?
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JustPeachy,
It was
easy to forgive the rapist. I was drunk and on drugs and got myself into the situation. Iīve been a member of AA for 22 years, and one of the things I learned there was to take responsability for my life and for my actions. Also, the rapist gave me a precious gift. He gave me my daughter. He can rest in peace for all I know... also he is now working as a bodyguard in the States and very hard to get in touch with him, but I will do it so if my daughter wishes to see him. I also forgave him for her sake. He is her father, even if he raped me.
I do know a person who did the same thing. Itīs the same shame, the same inability to cope and have children. I feel terribly sorry for her. She wonīt get closer to me because she know Iīm a birthmother too. The shame is simply too great.
If I had a friend who had done this, I would feel sorry for her with all my heart, but I would ask myself: Why? What in the world happened and made her do it?
I donīt know how to work this through, but I feel for the first time in a long, long time, there is some hope.
Thanks,
Liliana