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Originally Posted by Southernroots
My feelings about losing my son to adoption were much like yours. I felt deep shame and judged myself harshly, so I expected others to do so as well. Forgiving myself was my toughest challenges. It helps to understand what powerful forces women considering adoption are up against.
Since my reunion I have generally been treated with compassion and understanding when I tell people about my son. However, there are many stereotypes about mothers who relinquish, and some people believe that we are uncaring and heartless. The challenge for us is to educate people who judge us harshly. In addition, until we forgive ourselves, it may be difficult to expect others to do so.
I feel much like you do, and many other moms do as well.
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Southernroots,
What you say really makes sense. The challenge is to make people understand how hard this was for us, but I also feel social workers and adoption agency workers should also tell birthmothers to be that they will be judge. Because that is the case, no matter the circumstances. Of course they donīt say so, because the stakes are too high for the adoptive parents. But we
will be judged all our lives.
How can I forgive myself?
Liliana