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I know forgiveness is vital. I forgave the rapist long time ago. I donīt think I can forgive myself. How do I even begin?
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You know, you were in your teens at the time, and very young to have to be dealing with the trauma of rape and a pregnancy resulting from that rape. In addition, there was obvioulsy a terrible social stigma involved. None of these things were your fault. It's hard enough as a grown woman to handle being manipulated and pressured in any circumstance, but being so young and likely still under your parent's care, what else could you have done?
What would you think of a friend who did the same? Would you feel compassion for her, or contempt? You are a total stranger to me, and yet I don't see you as unnatural, shameful, or a horrible person.
Why can you forgive your rapist, but not yourself, when you didn't have or know of any other options at that time?