I don't know if I can help, because I was not manipulated into making an adoption plan for my child, and I hold no shame in it, however, I have been judged and other people have tried to make me feel bad. On the other hand, there have been people who've been supportive, so it's not been all negative reactions, but it still is hard. Most people do not understand adoption and make all kinds of ignorant comments about it. They don't know the circumstances, and if they did, they wouldn't be so quick to judge.
I'm sorry you were manipulated into relinquishing your child and it was not a decision made willingly. When people ask "how could you have done that" do they respond with empathy when you say you were manipulated to against your will? I would think, or at least I'd hope, they'd be a bit more understanding if they realized you had no choice in the matter. In my case, I could have decided to keep my child, but adoption was the best choice, and I've not regretted my decision, though I have regretted my circumstances.
As far as coping, is continued counseling an option for you? I think contacting your daughter will be healing, too.
But when you say
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It was the worst thing I could have done and I cannot even justify it myself. I feel like I´m a marked woman in some way.
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, can you understand that if you were manipulated, you really could not have done otherwise?