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Old 08-18-2008, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedbybug
Is there a point where I could push too far and not respect a boundary they've made? Or that they feel they need and have a right to make? I don't know. Thoughts?


This is an interesting question, because I firmly believe in the rights of both sides to set boundaries. Most people tend to immediately think of aparents setting boundaries, but I know there are situations where I would need to set up boundaries on my end as well.

It's not the same situation at all - but sometimes I don't know how to tell Cupcake's Mom that I'm uncomfortable with something.

For instance, sometimes Cupcake's Mom asks questions that I'm just not comfortable answering at the time and I feel a little put on the spot. I know that she has nothing but good intentions when she asks them and that she just wants to know where I am in all of this. I try to keep it together at visits so when she asks me something like, "What's this like for you? To see Cupcake coming to me when she wants something? Does that feel weird? Is it hard?" it throws me off a little bit!

Ugh! What do I do?? Be honest and risk making her feel bad and cut back visits because it's "too" hard on me? Or just smile weakly and say, "I can't explain it, it's surreal" which is my go to answer??

But I don't know how to tell her I'm uncomfortable. And I'm not sure I would know how to verbalize it if I felt she was crossing a boundary either.

However, I will say in the very beginning when she was the one suggesting an OA and was encouraging me to participate in it, that never seemed to be overstepping for me. I welcomed her encouragement and it alleviated my fears a little bit because she was SO sure of the decision for an OA.
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