[aclee]

Originally Posted by Jensboys

I wouldn't say it makes the author RACIST, but I would say its an example of RACISM. Even if not her own, the racism of society, of her community, of her support system. So much so that she decided to take the "easier" route.

So maybe its an example of parental laziness?

Parenting transracially is HARDER. It takes more work. More sacrifices. More knowledge. More information. More support.

It requires a parent to be willing to work harder, be bigger, grow, learn and expand their horizons.

It requires parents to not be invisible. To be willing to be judged by more than one community of people.

Transracial parenting is harder.

And it should be made VERY clear that when white parents choose NOT to - it has to do with THEIR OWN short comings and inabilities or unwillingness to grow/work/move/learn expand and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the value of the child.

Black children (or other minority children) are JUST as worthy, precious, and deserving of capable parents as white kids, and how much better for the child if they avoid getting parents that aren't willing to do the work for them.

So in this case, if this mom wasn't willing to do the WORK involved in parenting transracially, that doesn't necessarily mean she was racist, she just realizes that dealing with RACISM is alot of work, and she isn't up for the challenge. Better to be honest about that, even if I strongly disagree with her.

Because to me, the pay out is worth ten thousand times over any cost to me.

Jen

This post bring tears to my eyes. Thank you for finally expressing in words what I have always stumbled on. Thank you.