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I'm sure it was really just a shock and sometimes we all don't handle shocks the way we wish we had.
It appears that you have a choice at this point. You can say ... "well, I screwed that up and this is all over" or you can pick up the phone and call him back (or have someone else call him) and say something like ... "i'm so sorry - I have no idea why I reacted the way i did." Then you can continue to talk or you can say .. i'm not sure I'm good on the phone right now - can we exchange emails for a while - or whatever you like. You searched for 5 years ... obviously you want some answers. As to why they sat on your information for 13 years, obviously she was afraid (probably still is since her husband called) and probably didn't feel she had any rights.
It is a rocky start ... but it is a start. The question is - are you going to go thru that "open door". Imho, GO FOR IT, GIRL. You have nothing to lose ... and lots of upsides.
Good luck.....
Jill
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