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Racist? Doesn't seem to be the issue. Maybe more about not truly asking yourselves and then reflecting on all of the deep questions before the giddy, nervous, exciting rush took over the thoughts of finally being parents. Hearing it from your lawyer and saying yes all in one meeting didn't seem to allow for your deeper thoughts and concerns to occur and then be discussed.
Sounds like you could have handled all of the negatives that our society doles out, but didn't want to in the end. Is that racist, no. You weren't going out of your way to inflict harm, damage, ill will, intolerance, etc. It sounds more like just not being as honest with yourselves up front. It happens. Can't criticize you within the guides of the adoption process when there are emoms who match, decide to parent and then decide again to place after deeper thought or actually parenting. As basic good people we all want to think we can handle everything, but sometimes we just can't.
We're pretty much in the same geographic and cultural boat so I very much understand all of the legitimate concerns. If you weren't ready, you weren't ready. In the end it's better that a child be raised by those who truly know themselves in the parenting role.
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