Great thread. We are expecting to adopt an infant at the end of October. DH and I are both 44. We have 3 adopted teenage sons. I was preparing myself for the grandma thing, but hadn't thought about anyone asking if the baby was my oldest son's.
HMMM. I too am worried that I will feel out of place at play groups and nursery school. I have a great support group of friends, but their youngest are finishing grade school. Can I relate to moms that are babrly older than my son?
The twins are biracial and don't even look like they are the same age or ethnicity. Our oldest is white like DH and I. The new baby will also be biracial.
I used to worry about strangers that looked at our family just a little too long. It became a family joke that they were trying to figure out how many different men I had slept with. I was convinced that since oldest son looked like DH, that they must think he is a saint to stay with me and raise so many other men's sons! Serveral times a year I have my sister's 3 blond, blue eyed kids along when we go out in public. Based on size it goes brunette, hispanic, blond, AA, blond, blond. Then we really get noticed. We are a loud and cute bunch! Once I stopped at a walk-in hair salon to get haircuts for the 3 middle boys who were around 5 at the time. The lady at the desk did a double take as I pointed to the guys. I could see her chatting with the ladies in the back and pointing to us. Luckily the boys didn't notice and we just left before she came back to make the appointments.
For the most part we tell anyone who asks how our family was created through love and adoption. The boys are comfortable with their adoption story and are more concerned that I would tell about something current that could get back to friends. It is a fine line for each family to walk. DH and I are very open with our lives and quick to share our personal stuff when asked. I guess the boys just think it is normal for people to ask questions about our family. (We never give out information that the boys haven't heard, even to close friends and family)
I hope to hear about more families like ours that have older parents raising infants. It is not very common here in rural VA. Cindy