It's only natural that you are grieving. Keep letting it out. Don't feel you are burdening those who are asking how you are, or if you are worried about it, you can say to them you don't mean to burden them, and if it is too much for them to hear, you can always come here and unload. Just don't keep it in, whatever you do. Counseling is so important at this time. I know your regular counselor is unavailable now, so at least you can come here in the meantime.
For me, the first year after placement was really the worst, but talking about it and getting counseling helped tremendously. Of course, there were those who did not understand and who did feel burdened by my grief (my own mother was one of them, believe it or not), but I always found others I could turn to. This is so very important.
Please try to take care of yourself best as you can right now. Also remember your hormones are all out of whack from pregnancy/giving birth, and that is not helping matters, either, so take some time to be gentle with yourself. You're going through a lot right now.
