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It's all horrible. I echo those who urge you to get help. It doesn't sound as if NJ wants anything to do with anything that would disrupt JDs placement. They've probably seen many unfounded allegations against fps.
Forwarding the allegation would be libel, not slander. In legal terms, they "published" the allegation. They may get away with it if it is considered a good-faith report of suspected abuse--same as if a neighbor called in a report because she a child said something or she saw bruises or whatever. Good-faith reporters can't be held responsible if there is no finding.
I hope it all works out and the boys stay with you.
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