[Tazer]

Curisotykitten...you posted: I asked her back when this started if I could get a medical history. She promised a detailed one, and I've never seen it, she promised to send me a photo of her, and I've never gotten that either. I've provided her with photos of myself, and my children, I sent her a card for mother's day (just a card that said enjoy your day with your family), I've so far done everything that she's sort of asked from me.

She emails me about how much she loves me and how wonderful I am and how she wants to pay for me to come and visit her. However I feel weird, because, it's over whemling and I almost feel like it's all talk.

I wanted to respond as a Bmom and share my take on it. It sounds like she may be ashamed of some things here. Maybe her appearance isn't the greatest, maybe she has some health related issues that she's not too proud of (addictions...grossly overweight) etc. It kinda sounds like I'll tell you my story but can't share any proof, you know?

This isn't something I faced in my own reunion but I have a very good friend who's adopted and she faced the same thing when she contacted her B-mom via snail mail. All of her letters and e-mails and even phone calls were simply wonderful but no photo's were made available and she claimed the medical history was sent but lost in the mail twice. She would not give her a physical address either, just a p o box# and her e-mail address. She made several plans to meet my friend but something came up each time, until finally my friend pulled back. One day my friend had to appear in traffic court to protest a speeding ticket she got in a neighboring town. Lo and behold she heard the clerk call out her B-brothers name and sitting beside him was a 400 lb. lady that she knew had to be her B-mom.

She didn't approach them but having sent her own pictures earlier they recognized her, stared and rushed out. She contacted her that night via e-mail and got no response. Several days later her B-brother confirmed what she saw and gave her the home address that allowed her to finally meet her family. They have a friendly relationship but there is no level of trust. Her B-mom recently under went gastric bypass surgery and my friend spent her vacation caring for her. As the weight leaves she opens up but clearly she had some issues of shame that prevented her from letting my friend know the real her.

Not saying that is what is going on here, but wanted to share this with you. Good Luck! Tracy