[mommytomykids]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

You don't tell your son "we're going to adopt so-and-so." You say, "So-and-so is coming to stay with us for a little while. Her family can't take care of her, so we are going to take care of her while her bmom and bdad take care of their problems."

If she goes home, well.....that was always the plan. It will be sad, but not unexpected. If it gets past TPR, then you can tell your son, "Her bmom and bdad just couldn't fix their problems, so we are going to adopt her into our family. Adoption means forever, and we are going to be her mom and dad as well as yours."

We used a version of what you said...
We have a 4 yr old bio son whom we've told "God may give us a baby to take care of for a little while and then he/she will go home to their mommy and daddy. OR If we get to take care of them a long time...they will become your brother or sister. Mommy will let you know when this happens".
He really wants to be a big brother but we communicate with him clearly and plan to work through the process as we are faced with each step. (I'm not saying it will be a cake walk but I know we are preparing him for the realities that may lie ahead).