[mommy2fiveplus]

I expect them to ask, if they don't I figure they are new and tell them anyway. I have only had this happen three times because some of my fkids were RU with bios or relatives or we adopted.

In the threre cases, two of the PAP asked and one did not, (she was single and I think a bit overwhelmed with the system)

I want these kids to go to the home that can meet their needs best so it is important to give them ALL the info and everything that we have tried that hasn't worked and what has. Foster parents do not work hard at healing souls just to send them off to a home that would be substandard for thier situation.

I think if a foster parent was offended then maybe there is something wrong with the foster parent.

Some times the reason we do not adopt has nothing to do with the kids at all. We have choosen not to adopt some of our fosters because we feel compelled to adopt a sib group at some point in time and we know they are harder to place, so we do not want to fill up our beds with singletons (for us typically babies) who are easier to place.

A friend of mine recently declined adopting her 15 mos old fd, for a similar reason, she still wants to foster and it would significantly limit what she could take in the future, plus she has a passion for "special needs" kids or as I like to call them "differently abled". She is fantastic with them and I can see why it was important for her to help find the perfect match for her fd so she could feel confident in sending her off and still be able to go with her passion.