Hi Lily, your post was really moving. You will find a lot of support here I hope. I'm sorry you feel like you can't express yourself in your open adoption but it's early days and in time I hope you will find the right balance so you can be yourself and the aparents will learn to be sensitive to your needs.
Best of luck. I look forward to getting to know you better. 
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“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” - Barbara Kingsolver
"If you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." - Sir James M. Barrie
"Nothing's gonna change my world." - John Lennon
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