[Butterfly2008]

In response to some of the suggestions earlier on,I will try my best to respond.

What got me was the fact that I was promised visitation 100% before I got pregnant and during. I wanted to help them have a child with the help of the husband's sperm/my eggs previously. I trusted them both 110% to care and raise this little girl(also her husband's daughter) so WHY didn't she trust me? They checked off no visitation agreement(which I didn't know about at that time),then a month later she's *suggesting* when we agreed I would visit in August(which was 2 months away),that I try *again* to get pregnant for them When you're going around talking badly to your online friends about the b-mom during the pregnancy and after wards and claim you can't trust her etc,why if this is so true would you ask her to carry for you again? If this b-mom is such a horrible person,are you so very desperate for children you'll compromise your *supposed* values just to have more children? I find that excuse hard to swallow I'm mad that all my good intentions and promises were kept,I never did ANYTHING without consulting her first and yet I'm still left holding the bag.

This "relationship" between us can't be fixed because I know this woman never trusted me from the beginning(she's angry I lashed out and exposed the negative things and that I took it a step further and called her out on her character flaws(if it's good for her to do then it was fair for me too). It's easy for her to sit there and say, "SEE,I knew I couldn't trust her!" SHE sabotaged our relationship. By the time this little girl was 7 months old,I had enough of her games and keeping everything that was said and done to me secret any more. I was tired of her deceit and lies. Everything was about her. About what she wanted. She never really seemed to care about me. She seemed to relish the attention that she got from having a baby,but she viewed me as just another cow in the herd(they're cattle farmers),which of course I took as an insult!

I'm not a cow,and I don't tolerate being used. She has decided since I've raged online against her(to people who know her and visa versa),that I am never allowed near my daughter. She had already decided this LONG time ago when she insisted this little girl was a possession. Like a doll you refuse to share because it's your first and the person who gave it to you,might want it back. Well this little girl ISN'T a play thing. I will never forgive this woman for the hurt she's intentionally or unintentionally caused me. Her fake-ness is sickening after awhile,so how could I possibly interact with her when I can't stand fake people?

Jenna- I agree with you 100% although when you're dealing with someone who only sees you as a baby wish maker,it's bound to break down.

Katie-Thank you for contributing your thoughts and experiences I did go on and carry another little girl for a separate couple who never seemed to have any issues with me personally or in the trust/respect aspect My question is this(not finger pointing just curious),how is it fair to the child,that any parent(biological or not) should have the right to determine whether the other party is allowed to see them and when? Allowing this type of "ownership" over an adoption situation to me should be illegal. As in divorce cases,I believe adoptions should be treated the same where a court gives the a parents 100% custody but it determines what's best in terms of visitation. I even cringe at the idea of changing the original birth certificates-what's the use of that? It's there to state who has biological connection to the child. If it's because there's needed a government appointed piece of paper to validate the a parents connection to the child,why not have a different document that's just as relevant? I'm not bashing or accusing,I see major flaws in the system that not only don't make sense,it trivializes things(in my eyes).

Just trying to make sense of this thing called adoption!!