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Originally Posted by katie52
All 4 parents need to keep this in mind when they envision their future plans.
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All 4 parents.....
I'm beginning to figure out what OA means to me. No one is right and no one is wrong when it comes to this decision.
My perspective, my point of view as a hopeful aparent of an infant is that visits are not a good thing for anyone involved.
I've asked myself if I'm being insecure and at first I thought that was it. I've read my posts over and over, sent and received some really heartfelt PM's and came to the conclusion that it isn't insecurity or fear after all.
What's right for you may not be right for me. What's right for the bparents in your OA, may not be what the bparents want in our situation.
No one is right, no one is wrong. I just had to listen to everyone's perspective, try to see things the way they do and come up with my own belief.
Yes, I think that OA can be, and mostly is, misrepresented because there is no set definition. Also, most people have very passionate standings on why they feel visits are important. I respect that.
DH and I will just have to be sure that we find a bmom or bparents that believe in the same definition as we do.
That's the key, I think, to a good OA as you and the bmom/bparents envision it.