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I think it's only natural that we still feel love for our moms, even if they are toxic to be in relationships with. I don't like to see my mom hurting, or in pain. When she is being abusive, I have to draw the line and set limits, but that doesn't mean I can't feel compassion for her and still find some love for the person underneath all the drama, sickness, lashing out, etc. I'm sure my mom lashes out because she herself is in such deep emotional turmoil and does not have the capacity to look inside and correct it. Therefore, she projects it out to others. Being her daughter, I get the brunt of it, but anyone close to her does too. I can get very upset and angry with her but I know there is also caring and love there. It's just that in order to protect myself, I have to keep a healthy distance. You can still love your mom and "be there for her" without actually having to be physically there. She may not see that you do really care, but you could probably be there 24/7 and she still wouldn't see it. Try not to let the "daughter guilt" get to you. You can only do what you are comfortable with. Anything beyond that is not good for your well being and won't do her any good in the long run anyway.
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