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My adaughter is almost 4 months old. When we went through the adoption we did so to give her the life that her biomother could not give her. Unfortunately, the biomom's extended family wanted it differently and actually wanted us to "share" our daughter and even commented that she would be a "bridge between the two families". My husband and I struggled on how to make this work but soon we realized it would not. It would be as if she were born into a divorce. Plus, the biofamily values and life style were not safe for our daughter. The more we learned about this family the more worried we became. So, we cut them off....completely. Harsh as it sounds it is the best. The biomother actually agrees with us. Her comment was "I just don't want X to go through what I went though."
Right now the biomom and her mother have access to my daughter, but that is all. They visit her here at my home when it's convenient to my family. So, make a stand if you have to..remember you are the mother and you are doing what is best for your child.
Good luck to you.
M
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