Listen, we had 1 failed match (after a month of speaking every day, two long visits and a video I made of our home and town that took me a week to film (at her request). Then they asked us to go with a plan to say the child was stillborn to con the father who didn't want the adoption to move forward.
Then a failed placement after having the beautiful boy with us for five days (nearly did me in). Lost about 6K on that one.
Then we had a looooong match that we had to back out of very close to the birth (lost about 4 K on that one)
Also had another match fail along the way and a horrible, horrible scam. I didn't give up. Everyone said how strong I was but I was just driven like a possessed person. Thank god I was because now we have a little boy who is, and I'm not kidding MAGIC. I've never done this but I'm going to cut and paste some lines from an email from my mother in law about him:
it was amazing how little Thunder Thighs seemed to fit in with the English way of life. He didn`t make strange at all and took all the changed in his stride. Everyone fell for him - all at his party think he is
wonderful. That was a great day. Also the trip to Weymouth and all the other things we did. He really is a star.
This is our ONLY reality now and if you just hang in there (I hope you can afford to goodness those are HUGE losses!) But if you can and you hang in there I promise you you will be as happy as we are today.
I just want to add: As I understand it A failed adoption is AFTER finalization. A disrupted adoption is after TPR. A failed placement is when the child is with you and then returned pre-TPR. A failed match is just that. Not that it helps but it kind of does because there are always those worse off than you and it helps to keep things in perspective.
also, our failed placement (the name we gave the baby was our family name and then we couldn't use it for DS of course though DH wanted to
) they also had VERY little money but you know what that baby is with his mother and is loved so I don't think about the risk of meth relapse or the trailer or any of that stuff. I get great peace because he's with his mother. kwim?