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raven, you can't "find it in yourself" to do what your cousins just did because your mother was not like your aunt; you describe them in fact as polar opposites. and your relationship to your mother was a very different one than your cousins had with their mother. as a person who has had to sever all contact with my own mother, i understand the guilt you feel. but if this is not about a healthy mother/daughter relationship, and she is toxic to you (and possibly you to her), there are times that you have to draw a line and say "no - i choose my own sanity". only you can decide if that line needs to be drawn/kept, but DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP for your decision. as much as i know about you, you seem like an incredible human who has been through a great deal and come out of it with head and heart intact -- and on top of that, you find the strength to help others benefit from your experiences. as adult survivors who have had to place strong boundries on our parents, it can be sooooo easy to get sucked back into the "why can't we/she/i..." and that fantasy of resolution that we all carry...and this has got to be the tests of all tests!!!!! i im'd you as well, but just know i believe you have all the answers in your heart; that you will do what is best; and that no one can decide what that is but you.
BLESSINGS, my new friend. my heart is with you
vj
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