Binky I hope you don't think I am trying to get anyone to adhere to fully OA. I fully support all kinds of adoption, including semi-open adoption if that's what both parties want. Just think all decisions made pre-adoption should be adhered to. The damage done when these promises are broken is incalculable.
I truly feel like the birth mothers on this thread have said exactly the same thing. Their expectations are only based on promises that did not have to be made to them but were.
I've read this a thousand times and don't understand why it isn't understood (I'm not saying YOU don't understand this, I'm not clear).
If you don't want to be in a fully OA then don't make that promise to a woman who is about to let you raise her child. Just don't do it!
I feel like "we" get so stuck on this issue and I don't know why
