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Originally Posted by Boulderbabe
You keep assuming that I'm against placement with relatives. I'm not---in fact, I'm in favor of it, if it is done in a TIMELY manner. What I'm opposed to is leaving kids in care for very long periods, and then jerking them out to go live with a relative that they don't know well and haven't had contact with.
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I haven't assumed that you were against placement with relatives at all. I recognize that you support early placement with relatives. However, the system often prevents that very thing. I can attest to that on two occasions. The system is setup for foster parents, not relative placements. Therefore, there is often unnecessary delays with relative placements or even agencies that shutout relatives regarding placements. My family has dealt with that.
I do not agree with you that it is in the best interest to keep a child with a fost/adopt family b/c of certain timeframes when there is bfamily that has come forward in a timely fashion. The system often delays the process and adds to the delay. I can again attest to these delays. My family requested visitation with my nephew very early on and was denied. The CW told us that only the bp could visit. However, they approved visitation 1.5 years later (after I hired a lawyer).
I do believe that children prefer to be with bfamily in most cases. Furthermore, children typically are not jerked out of foster care placements to go live with relatives. There are series of visits that take place over many months to begin that transition starting at 2 hour visits, progressing to 4 hour visits, overnight visits, and then the transition into the home full-time. I don't call that jerking. Furthermore, if a healthy relationship is able to be maintained with the ffamily, then it becomes even better.
Please do not think that I refer to all foster care placements. I recognize that many bfamilies do not come forward. I recognize and am thankful to ffamilies, like the one my nephew W is with, that do an extraordinary job and are willing to care for many of these "at risk" children. I am speaking on behalf of the instances where the system is abused, and CW's have an agenda to adopt to ffamilies without properly pursuing bfamilies.