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Originally Posted by vegaschristina
This thread has been an interesting read, and I'll most likely post again when I've had time to digest it all, but one thing to keep in mind is this...foster parents aren't the bad guy. Relatives are not the bad guy. IMHO, the "bad guys," for lack of a better term, are the parents who chose to abuse their children and then continue with the behaviors to the point that TPR is necessary.
I am a foster/adoptive mom. I prayed each day for God to allow HIS will for my foster children, whether that be for them to stay with me or to go back to their birth mom. She is pregnant again, with her 5th pregnancy (she had 1 miscarriage, I have the other 3 kids) and once again, I'm praying to God for HIS will for that child. I pray that she will finally become the woman I know she can be. I pray that one day my children will be able to have an open relationship with her, but with her current issues, our adoption will remain semi-open with only letters and pictures.
The reality is, I am infertile, and I am a foster mom. And no matter how badly it would have hurt me, I would have put the smile on my face and shown these children how excited I was for them to go home, if only they had been able to. It hurt me dearly when we went to court for the TPR because I knew that despite being able to keep the children I had come to love as my own, we were tearing apart a family.
Please don't judge all foster parents as bad. We're all different people, just as relatives are.
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You are so appreciated, my dear. I wish ds had a fmother like you. I know there are many more like you out there, patiently giving the day to day care to children whose families are in crisis. Thank you for having an open heart toward sending the children home when it's safe and secure for them to go. I do pray for the fparents who have broken hearts as a result of their selflessness.
I agree, the "bad guys" are parents who choose drugs and their addictions over their children. Young mothers who are scared and terrified because they cannot parent are kind of a different category--but the children still need a home.
I apologize if any of my posts appeared to "bash" all foster parents. That was never my intention or my message.
There are foster parents who let their desire for a child/children and a family overcome their knowledge that these children do come from a family, and may return someday, somehow. Their desire for a family causes them to do and say things that does not support the social services plan for the child--they try to negatively influence or block the reunification every way they can. I want that practice to stop, and it's like asking the moon not to shine tonight.
I am grateful every time I read a post from a foster parent who says they would support their foster child going home to family. Thank you again.