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Originally Posted by stevenstwin
I'll give it a try- I think I've done it WAY in the past, but lately have been too frustrated to be (or appear) charitable. I'll let you know if it seems to make a difference! In the meantime, I continue to fantasize about him being teleported to Siberia...and hoping he DOESN'T have any more children with this supposed new girlfriend since he's already lost 5! I would like to think he wouldn't FIND another woman naive enough...but he's already found 3, so there seem to be plenty of dysfunctional ladies out there, sadly.
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Well, even if it doesn't help, it won't hurt. You might even tell A, "I get really frustrated and upset with your uncle, because I worry so much about you, and I worry his choices are going to end up hurting you. But I am trying to work on being compassionate, because I love you and I don't want you to feel like you have divided loyalties." That way, he won't think you're being fake.
The added advantage of this plan is that if the uncle is talking smack about you to A, and you're not returning the favor, you look like a MUCH nicer person than he is. Then A can be all defensive about you instead!!
(Advice from a child of divorce here, can you tell?)