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Originally Posted by Boulderbabe
Have you thought about calling them, and offering to build a relationship with them? It's clear they really love M and want to be a part of his life---and that is great. There's actually no evidence that kids bond to a new family better when they are forced to separate totally from a previous family. Instead, there is lots of evidence that having the same people in their lives over a long period of time, even if those people are in different roles, prevents attachment problems and psychological trauma.
You might be doing M a huge favor, if you could find some role for his fparents in his life. And it might help them as well, if they could transition into being "godparents" or "aunt and uncle" instead of "mom and dad" to M. They could accept your role, you could accept their presence in M's life, and M would benefit by not losing any of you.
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I have called and invited them to M's 1st B-day party in June. They came over to M and took him out of my arms, walked away from everyone there and started taking pictures of him, pictures of M with them. I have not a problem with them taking pictures, in fact I've sent them some, it's the point of them coming over and taking him out of my arms. They also told me that we wouldn't be having such a hard time with bd (my brother) if we would just let them adopt him, all this on M's 1st. B-day. I wanted it to be a joyous occasion for M, but he was scared of them and cried the whole time. He doesn't know them anymore, so should I keep trying to keep them involved in his life when doesn't know them? Is this in the best interest of M, or is it for the fp?