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Originally Posted by hkolln
I think we all can agree that the ffamily does become attached, afterall they loved the child as their own child. However unless the child is free for adoption then RU can happen. There is always that possibility.
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Legally, you're right. That doesn't change how anybody feels, though. And in some ways, this is a perspective that focuses on adults' rights and adults' feelings----not on what's best for the child. It's certainly not a perspective that contributes very much to mutual understanding between foster families and biofamilies. And as you know, I've always argued that the adults have GOT to work together to help the child. Mutual compassion and care for one another's feelings can go a long way in making a supportive environment for the child.
We're talking about human relationships and human emotions, not property rights.
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I think the main issue is allowing the kids to move forward without guilt and being positive in the transition, etc...It is possible to stay positive for the childs sake...even though you may be hurting deep inside.
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I totally agree. Whatever the court rules, it's really important for EVERY member of the child's family, birth or foster, to do whatever it takes to make this easier on the kid. Sometimes, that means sucking it up, smiling, and overlooking the other family's faults in order to build enduring and supportive relationships for the kid.
(And dang, have I put some effort into sucking it up and putting a big juicy smile on my face lately....)